After a long “lull” from my reading goals, I’ve finally finished another book. My mom was a fabulously intuitive mother and bought me the book Wishin’ and Hopin’ by Wally Lamb because I read his book She’s Come Undone in high school. I started reading it and completely forgot everything I read because I took a break to try and read Wicked (which will eventually…eventually make this list). Anyway, my weeks have been…stressful? to say the least recently so I decided to finally read a book again.
Then life happened…with a vengeance. As much as I typically thrive on busyness, this week has taken the cake…and I have not thrived. I was super excited for my Odyssey of the Mind team’s competition this weekend…until my grandmother’s condition worsened last week. What I also didn’t realize is how tricky grief can be. My mother, sister, and I had some very real talks about my grandmother’s condition and how the end could be near. My dad handled the whole thing surprisingly well and when my mom told me Tuesday night that she passed I absolutely broke down. Broke. Down. I hate breaking down. I especially hate breaking down unexpectedly. In fact, I really didn’t think I’d shed a tear because my grandmother and I had such a complicated relationship. However, at the end of the day when you realize someone no longer exists, the reality is shocking. Death and I have had a lot of issues lately anyway. I seem to have too many questions and not enough answers. We’ll see how that plays out for me.
Anyhow, my grandmother passed which brought a lot of unexpected emotions, even more expected emotions, and an overwhelming sense of stress. I was absolutely debilitated by stress this week. I was unable to do things at work I wanted to do, unable to guide my team the way I’d hoped to, and unable to function in any kind of productive way. If ever I wanted a re-do, it was this week.
However, I have amazing friends, fantastic coworkers who helped me in SO many ways this week, and some people in my life who really love me (even when I’m utterly, unfixably, crazy). Thank goodness those people didn’t give up on me this week. I think I definitely gave some of them a run for their money. God was looking out for me today though and when I thought I was completely and utterly exhausted, I got some yard work done and am now (surprisingly) looking forward to spring and the landscaping/housecleaning possibilities in store! 🙂
And I’m on to book #11! Bring it on, March!