Catch up on our whole, infertile journey here.
This is actually my favorite post about this whole infertility mess. I mean, the content still sucks. It actually really sucks. But we have pictures! That’s weird. But, it’s true.
So, we went through the whole IUI rigamarole again except this time I took two pills of Femara from days 3-7 and shot the Ovidrel up in the parking lot of the drug store. I got the ultrasound done and he said I had two HUGE follicles on my ovaries (one on each). They were like 21 and 22 mm or something. It was inSANE. Anyway, that meant that I had to have the shot RIGHT away (this was a Friday) and the IUI needed to be on Saturday. Like, TOMORROW, Saturday. I mean, not tomorrow, but you know what I mean.
We went to Norfolk on Saturday and sat in the waiting room for what felt like forever. I wore a lot of FSU gear just in case it helped. Ya know, in case you hadn’t heard, the ‘Noles are the reigning NCAA Men’s Football Champs. Just sayin’. Unfortunately, their luck only went so far. Spoiler alert: we aren’t pregnant.
We were supposed to find out on February 3rd. It was a really good time in terms of support. We told people in person for the first time ever (after the procedure) and had lots of people praying for us because, by now, all of the internet knew we were dealing with this, too.
We took pictures of our “kids”.
Dr. Hsu was really super sweet to us again and hoped that we would have better results. We also had AH-MAY-ZING numbers. I mean, amazing. Phenomenal. Awe-inspiring numbers. SOME BABY WAS REALLY TRYING TO GET IN MY UTERUS, GUYS. LIKE, SWIMMING SO HARD. AND SO MANY. MANY BABIES WANT IN.
The previous month they had wanted a count of 20 million, we had 50 million. This month we had 60 million. Sixty. Freaking. Million.
The previous month they had wanted 50% motility, we had 78% motility. This month we had 91% motility. Do you SEE how badly they wanted to get in on THIS?!
Positives of this day:
1) It was beautiful. Like, BEAUTIFUL.
2) We went out to a really amazing brunch. Deliciously. Amazing.
Negatives of that day? The outcome. I cramped like CRAZY after it. Like. Crazy. I was randomized to be a part of a study that used progesterone suppositories. I did not anticipate that they would be suppositories of progesterone cream. You grossed out? Me, too. Trust me, I was not prepared for how weird that was. (Another spoiler alert: Gravity works on progesterone cream. Sorry. I warned you.) Every night, for two weeks, I inserted (ew) progesterone. I also had to take notes and record the date/time. I was not the best at the timing for a few nights, but I got the hang of it. Otherwise, the next two weeks were pretty uneventful and I was absolutely positive I was not pregnant.
I was absolutely, positively right. This time felt different, though. Also, I was pissed that I had to endure the ridiculous that was the progesterone for nothing. It felt defeating, but not necessarily as sad. It was difficult to have a bunch more people asking, but also really supportive. This infertility thing is like emotional bipolar disorder. I definitely got the worst constipation/cramps of my life. Literally, laid in bed with a heating pad for 18 hours straight. I have never felt pain like that in my life. Thrilling. Then, the whole period thing. It’s like sprinkles on top of a really fabulously awful hot fudge sundae that isn’t really ice cream but is some weird soy concoction…or worse, fat-free vanilla. It just really lets you relish in the fact that there isn’t a baby inside you. It also makes you want to scream lots of profane words. Many. Words. For the record, I did not proclaim obscenities at all. Instead, we had a very calm discussion about how we sure as heck would not be doing another IUI in February and that I was MOST definitely taking a month (or three?) off. Could our baby have been conceived in that month? Sure. Could it not have? Sure. At some point, does it get exhausting to carry the weight of EVERY decision could have life-or-not-life implications to our future children. Yes. Yes it does. It gets so. very. exhausting.
So where do we go from here?